How to Talk with your Doctor to Get Faster Pelvic Pain Results
When you’re in pain, it feels like everything is out of control. You just want relief fast. But if your pain relief journey is anything like mine or my 1000’s of clients, it’s not that simple.
You’re probably working with several different providers, each with their own strategy based on their area of expertise. Maybe you’re working with a gynecologist that’s helping you resolve medical conditions affecting your pain. A physical therapist has exercises to help you relax or strengthen muscles in the affected area. And a sex therapist is helping you communicate better with your partner.
It takes a whole team of experts to guide you on your pelvic pain journey. After all, research shows that a multidisciplinary approach is the best way to get pelvic pain results. 1
While you appreciate everything that they’re doing, it's easy to feel pulled in many different directions.
How can you feel more empowered at your next pelvic pain appointment?
I give my pelvic pain clients an easy 6-step checklist to help them get the most out of their appointments.
You can follow the suggestions in this article or use this form. Print it out and take it on your next pelvic pain appointment or fill it out on your phone.
Get your FREE 6-step checklist HERE.
Start at the top
You already know that your pelvic pain relief journey has a lot of moving parts. So keep a separate checklist for each provider to stay organized.
At the very top of your checklist should be your provider’s name, specialty, and contact info. Of course, you have that information somewhere, but it’s very helpful to have it right at the top of the page. That way you know at a glance who you're talking to and how to get in touch with them.
Also, put the date and the primary issue they’re helping you with. I understand how challenging it is to keep things straight when you have many appointments with different providers helping you with various issues.
So let’s say you’re at an appointment with your gynecologist and they ask you a question about strategies you’re working on with your physical therapist.
Just pull out that checklist and immediately you know:
Dr. Smith is your physical therapist
Your last appointment was Tuesday at 3 pm
You worked on exercises X the last 4 appointments
Last month you worked on exercise Y to improve Z
Her contact info in case the gynecologist has questions for her
Staying organized and being able to answer questions by glancing at a checklist – instead of relying on your memory – is step one to feeling empowered in your pelvic pain relief journey.
Plus it’s one of the most helpful tools for providers to get a reliable history about what’s going on.
What else should be on your checklist?
#1) What to do before your appointment
I recommend setting your intentions before your next appointment. Ask yourself:
What do I need to know or do to leave my appointment feeling empowered?
The answer is different for everyone. So take a moment to think about how you would like to feel after your appointment. You probably want to feel:
Heard and understood
You said everything that needed to be said
You clearly understand the next steps in your treatment plan
Empowered to keep moving forward on your pain relief journey
How do you achieve this?
Some patients practice mindfulness in the waiting room before their appointment. Others write this intention down near the top of their checklist. However you decide to manifest your intention, creating the right mindset and setting clear goals for the appointment ensures a better outcome.
What should go next on your checklist?
#2) What is your most pressing concern?
It sounds like a statement of the obvious. But pelvic pain treatment is complicated. And as you talk with your provider, you may be thinking of a lot of ways that pelvic pain is impacting your life. The end goal is to get relief from all your symptoms. But it’s very helpful to list your biggest concern at the top. And then other issues can be listed below.
Having a bulleted list makes it easy to see your concerns and talk about them effectively. If you have specific diagnoses, list them here. You can also list symptoms that you’re struggling with even if they’re not linked to an existing diagnosis. Your list may look something like this:
Here are some ideas:
Pain during intercourse/sex
Pain after sex/penetration
Loss of libido
Vulvodynia
Vaginismus
Dyspareunia
Endometriosis rule out / diagnosis
As you can see, it doesn’t have to be a lengthy explanation. The bullet points simply help jog your memory so you don’t forget to bring up important issues at your appointment.
Now that you’ve listed your concerns in order of importance, what’s next?
#3) List your symptoms
Is this just a repeat of step 2? No, it’s not.
The same diagnosis can have different symptoms in different patients. So having a list of how you feel or what you experience is very helpful.
And while your provider can get a sense of what’s going on from a group of diagnoses, it’s hard for many patients to gather their thoughts based on a laundry list of medical terms.
Your pelvic pain appointments will be easier to manage with a simple, bulleted list of pelvic pain symptoms. These may include:
Burning
Itching
Deep soreness
Surface level pain – on the skin or outside
Deep bruise feel
Sharp pain
Shooting pain
Irritation
Inflamed
Raw
Tender
Lingering pain
Stomach issues
Menstrual cycle issues (not regulated, serve mood swings, heavy bleeding, increase pain during certain parts of your cycle)
Length of time you experience symptoms
Triggers that cause symptoms to flare up
This list is especially helpful if some symptoms come and go. If you don’t have them written down, you may forget that 2 weeks ago you had sharp, shooting pain. Or that a bike ride last month left you irritated and inflamed.
But your handy list will remind you to bring up any relevant symptoms. Your pelvic pain provider will have a more complete picture of what you’re experiencing. And this helps them get you the relief you deserve.
#4) A brief summary of your pelvic pain history
Why should it be brief? You want to get the most out of your time with your provider. To maximize the benefit of your appointment, mention only the most important information.
This can be difficult if you’ve been struggling for a long time. Or if you have a variety of symptoms and diagnoses. So what information should be included in your history?
When you first noticed symptoms – this may be different for each symptom
What makes your symptoms better or worse
What you’ve learned about your symptom or diagnosis
How does that relate to your situation
If you’re struggling to condense your history, you’re not alone. Something that helped me and many of my patients is to imagine you had to write an Instagram post about your pelvic pain journey. That gives you about 500 words.
You’d want to make sure all the important stuff is in there. So it’s possible there are some details that would be left out. But 500 words definitely gives you enough room to give a complete picture of your situation.
Giving yourself limits for your summary keeps you focused, which ensures that you give the vital information that will help your provider create the best treatment plan possible. Because pelvic pain relief is what it’s all about.
#5) Questions about my pelvic pain
Write down all your questions before going to your next appointment. If you keep your checklist on your phone, write down questions as soon as you think about them.
Maybe you’re at work or out shopping. Don’t wait until you get home. Or worse, don’t wait until your next doctor's appointment. If you’re anything like me, the question will be long gone by then.
I like keeping a note on my phone. That way I can write my question down immediately. And I’m able to refer back to it when I’m preparing for my appointment.
Do you experience a sudden onset of symptoms? Pull up your checklist and jot down what you’re feeling and what may have triggered it. What was happening before the flare-up?
If you’re not taking notes as things happen, your provider is missing information that’s key to your diagnosis or treatment plan.
#6) Treatment plan
Leave this section blank until your appointment. While you’re in session with your healthcare provider, write down your treatment plan so you don’t forget important details. Your treatment plan can include things like:
Prescriptions – and how to use them
When your next appointment is
What to do if things get worse
When to reach out before your next appointment – i.e., if symptoms get worse, if something significant changes, etc
If you have a hard time taking detailed notes while you’re listening to the doctor, you’re not alone. Simply ask to record the session so you can refer back to it later. If they tell you the information will be in the summary notes they send home with you, it’s still ok to ask about recording.
If your session is virtual, your health care provider probably has access to an easy option to record the session. You’re welcome to ask them to send you a copy of the recording.
Faster pelvic pain relief is possible
I understand how easy it is to get overwhelmed. But staying organized and having things written down before your appointment helps you feel in control. And being empowered is a vital part of the healing process.
So take the time to fill out a checklist for each pelvic pain provider you’re working with. Don’t worry, it’s not a thesis and won’t take you all day. And the benefits are absolutely worth it.
Imagine going into your next gynecologist appointment. You know who you’re talking to and why. You have a list of diagnoses and symptoms. No more awkward silence as you try to remember things like:
When was the last time you felt…?
How often do you experience…?
What does your physical therapist say about…?
What prescription are you using for…?
When’s your next appointment with…?
How do I get in touch with…?
You’ll have the answer right in front of you. No more wasting precious time trying to remember details. And no more after appointment regrets about things you forgot to mention.
Relief from pelvic pain symptoms is possible. Keep a checklist because staying organized and understanding your treatment plan empowers you to take positive action. Check out my website to learn what else you can do to heal faster. You deserve it!
