4-Step “Oh SH*T Plan” When Life Gets in the Way of Treatment
You were really on a roll. Things were moving in the right direction. You finally had some momentum going with your pelvic pain treatment plan. And then… life happened.
Things got busy at work
One of the kids got sick
You had a setback
You were out late with friends and just don’t feel good
You forgot
I understand because I struggled with pelvic pain for over a decade. There are times when you feel optimistic and do all the right things to keep moving forward. And there are days when you feel frustrated, stuck, and just aren’t in the mood. It happens to everyone.
It often happens because our treatment plans are reminders of the emotionally and physically painful obstacles we’re dealing with. So it makes sense it becomes less of a priority over time – it’s a protective mechanism!
What can you do when life gets in the way of your pelvic pain treatment?
Make a backup plan
You may think you don’t need a backup plan. You’re determined to stick to your treatment plan, and you’ve made it a priority. That’s incredible!
But as someone who battled pelvic pain for many years, I understand that having a backup plan is an essential part of long-term success.
Because the reality is sometimes, you won’t be able to give your daily treatment plan your full attention. Does that mean you’re doomed to fail? Not at all!
Having a backup plan empowers you to keep going even when life gets in the way. So how can you get started?
Make a list of options that are easy to do and don’t take much time. How does this help you?
It’s like an emotional first aid kit for those times when you aren’t able to do your complete recommended treatment for the day. You don’t have to think about what to do when you’re short on time or low on energy.
When you’re having a hectic or “off day,” go to your back-up plan list and pick something quick and easy to do. You’ll feel like you’re doing something to keep moving in the right direction and making progress. It’s so much better than missing a day (but if you miss a day, that’s ok too… we’ll talk more about this below).
Think about someone who’s devoted to their gym routine. Maybe they spend an hour every day doing a full-body workout. How do they feel when they have a crazy day and skip the gym entirely?
They might feel disappointed and defeated. On a conscious level, they understand that one day won’t undo all the hard work they do the other days. But in their gut, they feel off-balance – like they’ve lost momentum.
Now think about that same person with the same crazy day. Instead, they squeeze in a quick 15 minutes of cardio on their lunch break or when they get home from work. It isn’t the entire hour that they’re used to, but they feel accomplished because they didn’t skip a day. They’re going to get the most out of those 15 minutes. They kept the momentum going.¹
And you’ll get the exact emotional reward from sticking to your treatment plan, even if it’s an ultra abbreviated version.
So what can your abbreviated treatment plan look like?
If you keep forgetting to apply your creams… just try to apply it at night for a few days in a row
If you wanted to get a 10 minute meditation but can’t find the time… take 10 breaths focusing on your exhale and how your clothes move against your skin
If you wanted to get your PT stretches in but also want time to connect with your partner (or friend), and there’s not time for both… Take a walk outside and noticing pleasant sensations in your body or what it feels like to hold your partner’s hand
If you don’t have time for a full 10-15 minutes of your dilator exercise…do it for just a minute, just noticing how to calm your nervous system for that minute while the dilator rests just on your vaginal opening.
Use sticky notes
In our busy lives, we all need reminders. Something that helps me is keeping a sticky note on my bathroom mirror. When life gets hectic, it’s easy to forget things. Your sticky note can remind you to put on your pain relief creams the next day.
Or you can put a few of your backup plan tips on a sticky note where you will easily see them. Some locations to place your sticky notes include:
On your nightstand
On the fridge
On your car dashboard
On your laptop
A bookmark in your current read
On the bathroom mirror
The important thing is to remind yourself to do small and easy things to keep moving forward. On your most distracted and busy days, a simple sticky note can help you stay on track.
What can you put on your sticky note?
Quick stretches and grounding exercises
You’re having one of those days. You don’t have the energy or time to finish your full treatment recommendation. Do you scrap the day and hope tomorrow is better?
Yes and no. It’s always good to feel optimistic about tomorrow because it probably will be better. But all is not lost for today. What are some easy things you can do to keep the momentum going?
Do a 1-minute grounding exercise. I teach the “Body Scanwich” method to my clients. This method involves:
A 20 to 30-second body scan
20 to 30 seconds of a mindfulness exercise – pushing against the wall or pressing your hands together and noticing sensations
Another 20 to 30-second body scan to notice what’s changed
Do a 5-minute yoga stretch. Or, if your physical therapist has a list of several stretches for you to work on, pick just one to do for a few minutes.
If you think 1 minute or 5 minutes can’t make a difference, I promise you it can. Let’s revisit our gym analogy.
A 5-minute cardio workout can burn up to 70 calories. And as a bonus, there are benefits of increasing your metabolism over the next 24 to 48 hours.
Lifting weights for just 5 minutes a day can speed up your metabolism, pump up your energy, and improve your mood.
So what can just a few minutes of attention to your treatment plan do for you? There are both physical and emotional benefits, including:
Relaxing your muscles
Checking in with yourself
Calming your mind
Feeling proud of yourself for not giving up
Feeling empowered that you’re taking action
Performing a mini-reboot that makes the rest of your day better
What about those days when it’s just too much, and you skip your treatment plan altogether?
Deal with guilt in healthy ways
No matter how hard you try, sometimes life just gets in the way. Most of the time, it’s not your fault. Your boss gives you a last-minute assignment, or a colleague calls out sick. You have a family emergency or a flair-up and don’t feel good. These things are out of your control.
So why do you feel so guilty?
The things that get in the way of your treatment plan are not under your control. But the way you react is something you can learn to manage effectively. There are healthy ways of dealing with the guilt of skipping your treatment plan.
It’s crucial to have compassion for yourself throughout this journey. And that starts with talking kindly to yourself.
Because if you’re anything like me, when you skimp on your treatment plan or exercises, you feel guilty. And then you feel guilty for feeling guilty.
So tell yourself it’s normal to feel what you feel. And then let’s do something constructive with these feelings.
You might say something like “Yikes. I forgot my creams this morning. And now I feel bad about that. It was important for me to do, and I’m worried how this will impact my treatment. And it’s ok that I forgot them because I’m having to face some really tough thoughts or sensations when I do it, and that’s ok. It’s normal to feel this way and I’m taking steps to work through this discomfort.”
You can use the skills we’ve discussed here or any other nervous system regulating skills (see my many videos on this on my YouTube Channel).
Use these or your sticky notes to give yourself a few easy wins. It doesn’t take a lot of time or energy. And the benefits far outweigh the price of a few stolen minutes of your time.
Having ups and downs is a normal part of the healing process. You’ll have periods of significant improvement and times when you plateau. And that’s ok.
Healing is not linear.
You will get through this. I’ve helped many people just like you overcome their pelvic pain. And as a pain warrior, I understand the highs, lows, and plateaus of the healing journey.
Need help with your “oh sh*t” plan?
If you’d like some help putting your “oh sh*t” plan together, I’d love to customize a treatment plan specific to your needs. Check out my website to get started today.
Even when life gets in the way of your treatment plan, progress towards pain relief is possible. I look forward to helping you heal.
