12 Frustrating Culprits of Low Libido and How to Overcome Them
You’re just not in the mood. Remember when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? You’d get lost in thought at work, even at the grocery store. You couldn’t stop thinking about how their touch made you feel. Your partner is the same amazing person you fell in love with. So why are you just not feeling it anymore? Is there something wrong with your relationship?
It’s completely normal to have periods of low libido. People of all genders and identities have times when they’re less interested in sex. And even partners with strong, healthy relationships aren’t always on the same page when it comes to sex. Our interest in sex tends to ebb and flow throughout our lives. But when should low libido become a concern?
Low libido symptoms
Let’s take a closer look at low libido symptoms to watch out for. If you’re struggling with low libido, you may experience:
Less interest in sex – or none at all
Less fantasizing about sex –or none at all
No desire to initiate sex
No pleasure from sex – even with sufficient stimulation
The impacts of low libido extend far beyond your sex life. Temporary periods of low libido are completely normal. But longer bouts of low libido can damage your relationship and your self-esteem.
Since this is a topic most people shy away from, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one. Everyone else seems to always be thinking about sex. And if their wild stories are to be believed, the sex is amazing every time. So you start to question what’s wrong with you.
Let’s explore why you may be experiencing low libido and what can be done to heat things back up and start enjoying sex again.
What causes low libido in women & vulva owners?
There is no specific test to determine if you have low libido. So the best way to start troubleshooting is by having a frank discussion with your doctor. Tell them what you’re experiencing. And they, in turn, will ask questions to pinpoint the source of your issue.
Performing a quick pelvic exam can rule out any obvious physical cause for your low libido (like poor tension in your pelvic floor). And a blood test to check hormone levels offers valuable information that your doctor can use to figure out what’s going on.
Because low libido in women can be caused by either a physical or an emotional issue. And more often than not, it’s a combination of both.¹ Some common physical causes of low libido are:
Hormonal changes during or after menopause or pregnancy
Hormonal changes as a result of using hormonal birth control
Side effects of certain medications
Being overtired and drained from the demands of a hectic schedule
Low testosterone or estrogen levels
Medical conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, or arthritis
After consulting with their doctors, many patients have discovered that the culprit behind their low libido is emotional rather than physical. If you struggle with low libido, it’s possible that you have a history of:
High stress response
Challenging nervous system regulation
Depression
Anxiety
Perfectionism
Low self-esteem
Sexual abuse or assault
Partners you haven’t felt safe with
Low libido is relatively common. About 1 in 10 female-identified respondents said they struggle with a low sex drive.²
Even though many men and penis owners are more hesitant to speak up about these types of issues, they can have periods of low libido as well.
Possible causes of low libido in men & penis owners
If you’re a man or penis-owner struggling with low libido, you’re not alone. It’s not something most guys are comfortable talking about with the boys. And society has made it difficult for gender-varying queer folk to talk safely and openly about their sexuality as well.
But statistically, research has found that low libido in men (cis-hetero males) is actually more common than it is in women (cis-hetero females). Low sex drive affects between 20 to 25 percent of these men. And the numbers are even higher in those men over 55.³
So what may be causing your low libido?
Low testosterone levels are an issue for a lot of guys and penis owners. Besides helping with muscle mass and sperm count, testosterone plays a huge role in your sex drive. And testosterone levels drop naturally as you age. Your doctor may recommend some supplements to have you feeling like your old self again.
Side effects from medications may also be to blame. Blood pressure medications, antidepressants, opioid pain meds, and some cancer treatments can cause low libido in men and penis owners.
Sleep issues can affect your interest in sex. Insufficient or low-quality sleep affects testosterone levels. And lower testosterone means low libido.
Stress can cause your sex drive to take a dive. Pressure at work, family problems, concerns over money, or a hectic schedule is enough to put anyone on edge. Stress is hard to escape from because we live complicated lives. But there are great ways to manage stress like meditation or breathing exercises.
Alcohol may be the problem. If you’re used to tossing back a few drinks to get in the mood and relax, that may actually be what’s making things worse. Having more than 2 drinks per day over a long period of time lowers testosterone levels, which causes low libido in men and penis owners.
Chronic medical conditions may be a factor. The illness itself may affect hormone or blood flow levels, which can lower libido. But if your health is impacting your quality of life or you struggle with pain, sex probably isn’t high on your priority list.
Is there treatment for low libido?
Whether you are male or female, regardless of your gender identity, who you are, how you identify, or who you love… you may be experiencing low libido.
Some of the physical and emotional causes of a low sex drive can happen to anyone, so the treatment for low libido would be similar. If it’s determined a medication is to blame, talk to your doctor about possible changes. There might be a similar medication that can give you the relief you deserve without putting a damper on your sex life.
If stress, anxiety, or depression are to blame, it may be time to talk to someone who can help. As an expert in sexual health, I’ve spent the last 16 years helping people just like you improve their libido, get back on the same page with their partners, and enjoy the best sex of their lives.
Because sexual health is an important part of your overall wellbeing. So if things aren’t what they used to be in the bedroom, or you just know it could be better, it’s time to make yourself a priority. Enjoying pleasurable and satisfying intimacy is essential to your emotional and physical health. And I’m happy to show you how. Check out my website today and kiss your low libido goodbye!
¹Low Sex Drive for Females: Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment
³ The Lowdown on Low Libido in Men - CentraState Healthcare System
